When I first began the newsletter in 2001, there was a subject I wanted to write about. There were other subjects that were included in the original newsletters. We did special issues about a mother, a father. What we could say if given a chance with no one knowing who it was too. We did an issue on "What is love to you?," with profound answers. These were a few issues we shared together as a "family of friends unknown." The subject of depression was not addressed, and I couldn't tell you why. Until now.
Many do not know that I have had a bout with depression these last few months. I loved my job working with senior citizens. The job stopped suddenly. I do not know what is to come of it, and now I am able to pray for God's will. I am still not able to discuss it.
At first the cake making just stopped. Then the christmas ornaments that I've been painting since 1994 stopped. Getting involved with The American Cancer Society was also ignored. Writing this blog was something I had no desire to do, because of sadness. Isolation had set in. The desire of all the things I loved doing was gone. And how can I hold my head high when there was such darkness within....
Is this something that happens to everyone? Does anyone ever admit it, and how do we try to hide it.
As in the past, your comment as an anonymous writer is requested. What are your thoughts?
To be continued....
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
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I do know that a walk in the fresh air with a friend sometimes helps..
ReplyDeleteHave you heard the "Footprints in the Sand" story? Sometimes all you can do is allow God to carry you through. He promises to be with us, even when we barely have the courage to call on Him! ...and then you just wait because the dark clouds WILL roll away and the sun WILL shine through again! P.S. Rachel, You are Loved!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleterachel, I too am goin through a depression. Knowing that we are not alone in this dark moment in time is comforting. But, it doesn't bring us out of it easliy. I have held tight to the words of family and friends. Been thankful of their prayers. Cried rivers of tears to God. Easier said than done, but I had to put it in Gods hands. We try to "handle" it (whatever the issue might be) alone. But it's the times that bring us to our knees, that bring us 2 call upon God. I've also sought help of a couselor and medical dr. It's not easy to admit you need help, but it's an awesome feeling....when you know everything will get better!! I love you rachel. Your in my prayes, as I ask you to also keep me n urs.
ReplyDeleteDepression hurts. That dumb depression commercial makes me wanna burst everytime I see it, because it's true! It hurts you and all the ones we love. I have dealt with drepression for many years for 10 million reasons. Sometimes I just don't wanna get outta bed, so I just lay in bed with the eye mask on and sleep, and cry and sleep and cry. I know this is bad, but I do it, and the next morning, I kick myself in the butt and say GET UP u have people depending you to make their day better. They must be upset that you were upset and wouldn't talk about it. So,I DO get up, I shower, I cry, I pray my thankful prayer that I do every morning and every night, and move on. EVERYONE experiences depression, it's up to you how you handle it. THEY are worth it, remember that, your family is worth u getting up and being mom. Like my mom said to me when I had my first, it's not about you anymore. Tough but true, that was my momma!
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